My life gets overwhelmed with events. E'eryday. Without fail. I know I'm horrible at this blogging thing. I'll try to be better. So here are some random thoughts of things that have been on my mind as of late. They are very appropriate, considering what tomorrow is...
1/31/12
I don't even know what love is anymore. What does it really mean? It has been used way too loosely in my life and in the world around me. I need your help: What is the definition of love?
1/04/12
I took the scenic route home after four hours of dancing. With the windows rolled down, Demi belting "Don't want to break your heart, let me give your heart a break...", and an ear to ear grin that could never be wiped off my face, I was beside myself with cheery giddiness. I don't even come up to his shoulder. His hugs are so welcoming. Too bad it's all merely a case of the crushin-like-a-child-syndrome. Warning: there is no cure.
2/13/12
A day of remembrance. I had to open my mouth about last spring. Obv she was going to want to know more, but I love Madison. And we were both there on that group date. (the best date I have been on to this day. Hands down. Sorry men.) So I talked. And talked. And talked her head off. Memories poured out of me. Memories I thought I had pushed aside ages ago. And I smiled. Not the normal *insert my normal, everyday, Pleasant Penelope (sayonara words...) smile here* , but the kind I haven't felt spread across my face since last year. It was genuine. It was caring. It was content. It was... bliss. I found myself thinking back to those days long after Madison had stopped listening. And then I talked to his brother. A whole real life conversation. It consumed all of lunch time. The resemblance between the two killed me. It felt like the old days of talking with him. But it wasn't him. I promised myself to always keep them separate friends in my brain, but today they became one. And I said something to him (the younger, my "lunchmate", if you will) that I swore to myself I never would. But we were fine. It was a strange plunge down memory lane. Just a few minutes ago I read a blog post that nearly brought me to tears (**huge deal because I haven't cried in a long long time). Some girl that I don't know experienced exactly the same pain as I did last summer. I realize that I never elaborated on that event, but you'll get the point after you read. What a comfort her story was to me.
In the spirit of tomorrow creeping early upon me, I must state my opinion on the holiday that is before us. The big V-tines day. In terms of school. Elementary: giving princess and hotwheels valentines that stated simple and sweet nothings that really meant nothing. Boys and girls still had the infamous "cooties", so it was all about the candy back then. Junior High: The awkward stage between giving out the little paper valentines and deciding whether or not to wear pink and red to school (They clash. Please Avoid.) High School: day of love. Awkward transition between relationships and wearing red and pink to school. Otherwise known as "Single Awareness Day". Now stop right there. Stop. I hate hate hate that phrase. Not only is it so cliche, but it is too too overrated. These are my honest feelings about the day that will arrive in point seven minutes.
Ah. The "Day of Love". Not. Strike that, reverse it. February 14. Another one of the 365 I experience each year. I too used to be one of the swooning "I wish I had a man today" type of ladies, but this year is different. I have not the slightest idea why, but I've realized that it is just another twenty four hours that I have to live and breathe and do my ordinary routines.The only out-of-the-ordinary event that will occur is the steak din din that my father requested (good on ya, dad.). So, don't watch for what I'm wearing or even if I'm holding balloons or roses from some secret admirer, because I won't be. I'll just be sporting the ushe clothing and hairstyle. Because it's just a day, just an ordinary day.
