Mine.

Here are a few of my recent obsessions:

1. Rings. They are actually one of the first things I notice about someone's outfit (which is kind of a small detail to hone in on first thing, but I do...) I have always dreamed of being a ring person, but I always seem to run into a few problems. A) The rings are always too big for my bony fingers and B) I notice rings that I love on other people's hands, but I can never find any I really like in stores. So if you are a ring person like I want to be, help a sister out and tell me good places to find them!!! I'm looking for any type of ring, really, but maybe a few small and simple ones that I can wear as a wardrobe staple?

2. Socks. I care more about clean socks than I do about clean clothes. I have so many pairs of socks, and getting rid of socks to me is like a parent having a funeral for one of their children. I have socks for all seasons and occasions. Alpaca socks included :) For my birthday last year, my mom gave me a box entirely filled with fun pairs of socks, and I couldn't be happier.

3. Lipstick and stage makeup and makeup in general. I RARELY take the time to get all dolled up unless it is stage makeup for a performance. I LOVE stage makeup so so so much. It makes me feel like a model. Which makes me want to be a model. Sometimes I really sincerely wish I could be a runway model or a model in a magazine purely for makeup and costume purposes. I went with my coworker Julia into the Ulta in Orem, and can I just say MAGICAL? I could walk around and stroke the makeup products until I die and be completely happy. I don't even know the first thing about makeup application techniques, but I do know that I love makeup. Maybe I should try to put some effort into my face...?

Questions THAT I REALLY DO NEED ACTUAL HELP WITH FROM REAL LIFE PEOPLE:

1. I need to buy a camera to take with me to Italy, but I'm totally stumped. What is a good brand to look for? I'm kind of thinking along the lines of nice digital point-and-shoot with good zoom capabilities and great quality pictures. I would just use my phone, but I don't really want to be flashing an iPhone to all the pick-pockets and gypsies of Italy. That would be screaming, "KIDNAP ME! ROB ME! TAKE EVERYTHING I OWN AND BEAT ME IN AN ALLEY!" And I don't have the money to invest in a Digital SLR right now. So let me know of your recommendations!!

2. How do you make running/exercising fun? I've been wanting to get more into running specifically, but I get so bored! Maybe I just need some new music or something? I don't know. HELP.

Can't wait to hear your opinions and hopefully I do hear your opinions because they really do mean a lot to me, and every little comment brightens my day by 100%.

And Yet...

Three more weeks of this semester, and I literally could not be more excited for the end. Two more years of this, really? Ouch.

I love education. I love learning. I love work. I love ballet. I love life IloveboysIloveclothesIlovemeanteachersandcattycoworkersIlovefailingIloveprocrastination I. . . . . L O V E. . . . .

Have I convinced you yet? No? Darn.

Well then let's be honest. The past two weeks have been so TOUGH. My body is in full rebellion mode, I'm falling behind in school, and FINALLY cute boys try to ask me on dates, but I can't because I have a show to perform in. And I'm constantly tired and stressed and running from one thing to the next. And I don't care enough about my appearance anymore. And I have bruises all over my whole body that came from nowhere. literally. Don't know where they came from. It kinda freaks me out. My mom asked me what I wanted her to say at my funeral, so you're all cordially invited to attend.

And yet....

(teaching mah ladies how to vogue today)

This week ended as a complete dream. I still haven't decided if it is real life or if my alarm clock is gonna go off soon. My dreams are actually aligning, and even though things are still shaky and scary, the future actually looks pretty great. Besides, what is your life if you don't have to make hard sacrifices at some point in your journey?
I'm pretty confident that I'm moving in the right direction. For the first time in a long time, I am truly happy with where I'm at in life. Which is totally invigorating and exciting!

Also, you know those cool kids that are too cool for school, and you want to talk to them, but they're just too cool? Definitely broke that barrier this weekend too, so there's that.

Here's to a brighter future!!!

P.S. Contemporary is my Patronus

Jumping the Gun

I don't really have a theme in mind for today's post, so I'm just gonna start typing and see what comes.

First of all, a few items of business:
-I don't know where the bruises come from. I realize that I look like I'm a leopard or like I've been abused. Things just happen, ok? I'm fine and everything is fine and I haven't been abused.
-If someone has a girlfriend, should I feel weird that he texts me a lot?
-Every week is so overwhelmingly full of things to do that when weekends arrive, I don't accomplish anything because I need a break.... which causes the next week to be even crazier. A vicious cycle.


Next, the warmer the weather becomes, the more my mind races and longs for the freedom of summer. Summer is never completely free, but it brings to mind all the excitement fun plans. Kinda like this:

Summer also brings a whooooooole lot of yummy smells that make me happier than anything in the world. You're thinking, what? Smells? Yes indeed. I love remembering events that smell a certain way or just smells themselves. So here are my favorite summer smells:
-First and foremost BARBEQUES. My favorite kinds of food and the most delicious smells.
-Watermelon. Period.
-Tanning oil and grass and ice water with the combination of background music. (Aka the smell of Morgan and I all day, e'ery day in the summer)
-The smell of Morgan Jo (don't be weirded out, sis. I love it.)
-The warm, thick smell of the outdoors on a morning run.
-Hiking trails and dirt and sweat
-Summer rain
-Snow cones with cream
-The dish soap smell that belongs to washing my car in a swimsuit on a hot summer day
-The smell and feeling of bonfires and s'mores and starburst.
-night time grass while we're star-gazing.  (as distinct from mid-day and morning grass smells)
-chlorine (obvsies)
-night air mixed with greasy fries/fast food
-froyo places. Always the froyo places.
-sprinklers at night
-the AFHS auditorium. Evening rehearsals there for summer shows. And J's room.
-grass stained feet {a weird one, but I can promise it smells better than post-rehearsal pointe shoe feet :/ }
-Café Rio or Costa Vida because I eat most of my meals there in summer
-Friend's cars smells. (is that weird?)
-The smell of the air conditioning that differs in each friend's car.
-The smoky, post-fireworks show smell. Especially from Stadium of Fire.
-Pink Lemonade icecream in G&G Hyde's backyard on July 4th
-Root Beer Float smell
-The smell when you get into your car after it has been sitting in the sun for awhile and it's really hot? (Sometimes. Sometimes the heat is too overwhelming to enjoy the smell)
-That smell when it's pretty much dusk and you're eating something cold, but it's still warm outside, but the sidewalks are kinda cool and crickets or insects are chirping? It has a smell. I am not crazy, because I can tell you know exactly what I'm talking about.

I just had a thought. The smell that comes to mind when you think of different colors changes from winter to summer, doesn't it? In summer, green smells like grass, red like sunburns and aloe or plastic water slides or hotdogs. Green in winter is Christmas tree smelling, and red is cinnamon or spices. Summer is blue like the chlorine filled water, whereas winter is blue like snowstorms and cold air and frozen lips. (I don't actually know what frozen lips smell like....)
Who knew smells could have colors and images?

What are your favorite summertime smells?

Stalking the fiend

This might be against every rule of the MTC, but I may have let slip to Benjamin that I do deliveries in the MTC Bookstore on Saturday mornings... Between 10 and 10:30...

But in my own defense he completely forgot and just happened to be there!!!!! When I walked in, my eyes frantically scanned the room, and there he was with E. Benitez! I almost called out "BENJAMIN!!!!" but then I remembered that they aren't called by their first names there, so I internally battled on what to call him. Before I could decide, he made eye contact with me and gasped and both of our hearts stopped for a second. His face showed total surprise.

I ran over to him and said, "Shake. My. Hand!" because I couldn't hug him. So we took a picture shaking hands (seen below). I look SOO fiendy because I was literally THRILLED to see him, and I couldn't contain my joy. I was giggling and probably sounded like a bumbling idiot in front of his companion.

He's doing so well, guys.

Also, I can send him packages for free while he's in the MTC, so if there's something you want to get to him before he leaves to Nebraska, let me know and I'll send it for you.

Three cheers for fiends and missions and being happy today!

xoxo,
Lize.

The F{r}iend

We all know and absolutely adore him.

I can't even tell you what kind of stuff this kid has been there for me through. The fact that he's off saving the world, one Nebraskan convert at a time, makes me so happy, but I miss him so much. And it has only been two days!

He's the type of person who you may not hang out with every day, but when he's gone, you physically feel a void in your life. He can almost out quote me when it comes to Harry Potter, and his movie selections are always golden. Even when we watched Cloverfield. (You realize I NEVER could have watched that with anyone else, don't you?) There are so many layers to this kid, but he is generous to all in showing his true self. My favorite thing about him: He is bold as lions. He doesn't sugar coat things. He just tells it like it is, and it doesn't even sound that harsh. He is very welcoming and friendly, even when he doesn't get along with the people. He can make almost everyone feel comfortable and wanted, even if that isn't necessarily the case... haha. 

I could list all the things I love about him, but that would take WAY too long. I could also share funny stories, but most of them wouldn't be funny to you. So instead, enjoy these pictures and a lil snippet of his lovely voice that I won't get to hear for two whole years. (I'm still kicking myself for not thinking to record the whole song on my phone, so the clip is from Morgan...)

It's a little crazy to think that I probably wouldn't have met him if he hadn't done theater...

^My Favorite Pic of the Entire World^

All growed up! Can you believe it, Benjamin?

Thanks for all the precious memories. You really are the best.

P.S. Here is a tiny lil taste of what I heard every car ride, lunch time, after school, ice cream run or movie night, practically every day of our friendship. 

She's at Home... Baking.

Eating is my very favorite thing. If I could eat all day every day without becoming morbidly obese, I would. I just love food. I could marry food if it was a real thing.

My weakness? Desserts. 100%. I have the HARDEST TIME turning down desserts and often times I just don't even try to fight it. So there's that.

So tonight I made these:

These cookies are... ok well they haven't come out of the oven yet, but when they do, I'll let you know!! The dough is good, so that's pretty promising.

Here's the recipe. And, if you're interested, you should check out this blog for other healthy recipes.

Chocolate Brownie Cookies

• 1/2 cup spelt flour (or ww pastry or white flour. You can use Arrowhead Mills’ gf mix if you add a little extra liquid so the dough is less crumbly.) (70g)
• 1/4 cup cocoa powder (20g)
• 1/4 tsp baking powder
• 1/4 tsp salt (just under level)
• 1/4 plus 1/8 tsp baking soda
• 1/4 cup xylitol or sugar (45g)
• 1 NuNaturals stevia packet, or 1 tbsp extra sugar
• 1 tsp pure vanilla extract
• 5 tbsp vegetable or coconut oil (50g)
• If needed: 1 tbsp milk of choice or more oil (15g)
• 1/3 to 1/2 cup mini chocolate chips (50-65g) (Technically, you can omit… but the recipe is so much better if you don’t! Mini chips are ideal; if you must use regular-sized, I recommend chopping them up to be smaller so you get chocolate in every bite.)
• optional: a few drops of pure almond extract, for a fun flavor variation

In a mixing bowl, combine all dry ingredients and stir very well. In a separate bowl, mix all liquid ingredients. Now pour wet into dry, stir to combine fully, transfer the dough to a big plastic bag, and smush into one big ball while still inside the bag. Remove from bag and make mini balls, place on a greased cookie sheet, then fridge at least 30 minutes, or freeze 15 minutes. (If you want crispy healthy cookies, you can skip this step and bake immediately.) Preheat oven to 325 F, then bake 10 minutes. They will look underdone when they come out, but that is ok. Just be sure to let them cool at least another 10 minutes before trying to pick the cookies up. (If you want flatter cookies than the ones in the photos, you can flatten them before or after they go in the oven.) Makes 14-17 cookies. For soft cookies, store in a lidded plastic container; for crispy cookies, store in a glass container.

P.S. The cookies are yummy. Really rich, but super good.

In Dreams You Will Lose Your Heartaches

I realized lately that if you want to make something of yourself, you actually have to chase your dreams and be willing to do absolutely anything to reach your goal. You're thinking, "Duhhhh," but for some reason, I thought somehow my dreams would just magically happen to me and one day I would wake up and be whatever I had dreamed of becoming. After waking up and realizing that wouldn't actually happen in real life, I went through a phase of mediocrity, where I was willing to live an ordinary life, go to college, get a job that had nothing to do with my major, and never leave Utah Valley because why try anyway, right? Go through the motions. It's who you are and always will be. Just a face in the crowd. But I wasn't happy. Then, I'm not exactly sure how or when, but something changed.

I became more confident in myself and the potential I hold. I realized that I was not made for a mediocre life. I have gifts that I can share with the world, if I'm willing to work a little harder to get to a place where I want to be.
I am terrified. Who am I to audition to be a Radio City Rockette? Who am I to think that I could have a professional career in dance in California or Chicago or New York? Or on another spectrum of my life, who am I to even think about becoming a personal secretary and organizing some famous person's daily life?
Simply sticking around and getting "regular job" after college is not enough for me. The whole get married and have kids and live in the suburbs forever is great for a lot of people, and it may be in my future at some point, but not right now, and not as far as I know within the next few years. And I may not be good enough for the Rockettes, and I may not make it into the professional companies I'm looking into across the country, but I will never know if I was good enough or not until I try, right?

So. You really do have to be willing to take a step into the dark or off the cliff of comfort or where ever you imagine yourself right now. It's terrifying and very thrilling at the same time. Don't let the stress of it become debilitating, but let it be motivating. Let it be the wind that pushes you further and further down the path you want to be on until you reach your Emerald City or Fountain of Youth or Happily Ever After. 

You have to GO FOR IT.

You've Got the Wrong Girl!

I've definitely tweeted about it a few times... But I read through them all again and died laughing.

I am CONSTANTLY being texted and called by people who have the wrong number. I feel so awkward when I have to tell them that I'm not who they think I am, but keeping the texts is my favorite part. So here are some of the texts for your personal enjoyment:

"Can we bring Weensie? I don't want her to be by herself." 
(I'm praying that's the name of their dog or something...)

Her: "Merry Christmas!"
Me: "Thanks! Happy Christmas to you too. Sorry, but I don't know who this is?"
Her: "Shelley"
(I don't know a Shelley....)

Person #1: "Thanks again! Everything fit perfect!"
Person #2: "Yeah thank you!"
(I have no idea who these people are, and I didn't give clothing or anything that would "fit" to anyone for Christmas...)

"Hi Nashayla is taking orders for girlscout cookies. Would you like to order?"
Me: "Sorry, who is this?"
"Charleen"
(I don't know a Charleen...)

"Just wanted to wish you a happy birthday. One day I would like to talk to you. Have a good day" 
(Not only is that text more than slightly creepy, but it was sent to me on Feb. 22. Definitely not my birthday.)

So random, and so hysterical. Anyway, I hope you're all living your lives, and reaching for the stars. Tomorrow I'm gonna talk about dreams and how mine are terrifying me right now. Which is a good thing, right? We'll see.

xoxo,
Lize.

I Am the Luckiest Girl

Looking at plane tickets really makes things hit home...

I'M ACTUALLY GOING TO ITALY!!!!!!

Sure the airfare alone costs more than any possessions I have, but I just got so excited because it is going to be downright terrifying and a blast all in one! The kind of excitement where you feel like your stomach is in your throat and you want to throw up? Yep, that's what I'm feeling right now.
Especially because we aren't all traveling there together. So a great big YIKES if something happens to me on the way there...or on the way back. But let's not think about that.

Italy. It is calling my name. I have no idea what to expect because I've never been out of the country, so I am so stoked to be completely shell-shocked by the new culture and lifestyle.

I CAN PRACTICALLY SMELL THE OCEAN BREEZE!!!!

It just got real, folks. 

Now the question is,

How do I pack for 6 weeks in one suitcase?
Suggestions obviously accepted, but nobody is really into that sort of thing, I guess, so I guess you don't really have to comment. But I would love it if you did...

xoxo,
Lize

"We have an 8-swan pileup in the foyer..."

White feathers, pointe shoe ribbons, sequins and hairspray and lipstick. "Places Please!", fruit snacks and junk food, bobby pins, flirting with guys at the booth to get them to buy tickets, nieces dressed in princess dresses, children who want my picture and autograph, surprise roses from Brock, fake eyelashes and "Prince and Princess Parties".

All factors of the most exhausting and rewarding week of my life. 

Sorry I've been MIA the past little while. (as if anyone would care...) I seriously felt like my life was spiraling out of control, and I still don't quite have a handle on it. It scares me a bit, to be out of control. Then there's the whole part where my body rebelled and literally refuses to be ok anymore. But exhaustion to the point of tears is normal, I guess.

Summer Lee Rhatigan is the most amazing ballet teacher I've ever had. Even if it was only for three days. She has the biggest, fullest perspective of all things good and makes you want to dance and to feel and look pretty when you dance. Her classes are hard, but they feel so good. Which is what I have been needing. And she is hysterical, so double brownie points for her.

Brooklyn (my co-pack 'n' ship-worker) and I have started obsessing over Theo James, so you can add him to the list of delicious men to look at. (I am so superficial, it's insane.)

Also, I miss my Sadie dog. She was the best.

What do you people want to hear about my life? I'm literally at a loss of words. Life is one big out of body experience for me right now.