Starting Over. Again.

The bell rang. Lunch time. Wowy, what a non-eventful day it had been so far. I turned the corner by the library into the main hall. Not the best decision I've ever made, due to the fact that there were more people packed into this hallway than I even knew attended my school! With my head down, I followed the flow of traffic (practically bumper to bumper, people). Thoughts were zooming through my head of the mill trill responsibilities and homework and places to be and the dream I had last night and homework: When was that green paper due? Did we have a reading assignment in that class? I really need a planner. Where is he? I usually see him in this hall. I hope she's already at the table. Why are there so many.... I froze mid-step. Dead in my tracks. Did I seriously just have those thoughts? I gasped aloud and tears filled my eyes. Why was that such a real feeling? I knew they were gone. Never to come back again. But my brain didn't accept it until now? And it hit: I'm the senior. I have to do this on my own. As I was shoved along by restless hungered students, I attempted to hide the waterworks, but the thoughts of them kept echoing in my head.
This happened last year too. Can someone please tell me why my favorite people have to be in the grades above mine?? It's killing me.