opposition.

At the doctor's office yesterday, the blood pressure thing hurt more than usual. Especially when my heart didn't work properly the first time and they had to monitor it again, only the second time around they decided to completely suffocate my arms like a boa on a.... banana? Sure. I still felt the uncomfortable hurt for approximately five minutes after they took the wrap off. I rubbed my arm tenderly and tried not to think of IV's and bloodwork and the mere fact that I was presently in the doctor's office.

Today was oddly exciting. Aside from the part where my sleepytime cough medicine didn't wear off until after first period, I was feeling like I was on top of the world. Nothing super fantastic happened, but I just felt warm inside. I was aware of all my friends and all the people I said hi to in the halls. 

I hope you took special note of one tiny word that I just used four times:  was.

It's interesting how quickly the world seems to fall apart.

I was busily shuffling my way down the hall by the attendance office slash book depository when I heard, "Miss Liza!" Oh, bless that darling, sweet gentleman. I admire him. I whipped my body around to face who we'll call the Gentleman #1 (GM#1 for short.). "Did you hear about Specimen #4?!" (Specimen #4 is in the MTC, about to take off to Panama for two years. Or was.) I gave him my best puzzled, but not too interested face as I said, "No, I didn't read his last letter, what's up?" GM#1 looked deeply into my soul as the next few words fell off his ever so precious lips, "he has a tumor."

My heart stopped beating for what felt like a solid minute. Keep yourself together, at least until you're alone I kept telling myself. It felt like I was watching this scene from far away. I heard my voice say, "What? Are you serious?! Is that why he couldn't hear? Is he going to be ok? What's going on?" Surprised at my sudden burst of curiosity, GM#1 replied, "Yeah. The doctors thought it was some kind of ear infection at first, but they just found out that it's a tumor behind his eardrum. He's supposed to leave for Panama on Monday, but he's not going to be leaving until they figure out what to do. He might have to come home to have surgery on it."

No, no, no. no, NO! This can't be happening. What in the world is going on.

Sometimes, there's going to be crazy moments when you want to cry and can't breathe and your insides become really tight knots. The solution: pray really hard.