Intervention

I need some realignment (in more ways than one). Yes, my back and sacrum and head hurt really badly because I have some ribs out of place, etc. But that's not necessarily what I am talking about.

So here.
--pack and ship: I've worked there for approx. 2.5 years now and made some of the closest friends I've ever had. I even know way more about the mail system than I ever cared to in my wildest dreams. Also, there is no boundary for me there. Some coworkers think I'm a freak *cough, cough, Tyler, cough*, but I like it. It's kind of like a sanctuary. A sanctuary where I file paperwork and water  my boss' office plants and stock the breakroom kitchen utensils. Couldn't even be happier.
--CDT: Our concert is this week!! So if you haven't been heavily pestered by me on Facebook, this is your inviation to come! Friday and Saturday at 7:30 pm (there's a matinee at 2 pm on Saturday too). tickets are $12, but with the promo code BYUdance you can get 2 tickets for $20. *end soapbox* Actually, before I end, one more thing. Thursday at 11 am. You might want to be in Brigham's Square on BYU campus. Just saying #surprises
--dance in general: I feel so lost when I'm not dancing. And not just dancing, but advanced classes that push me really hard physically and mentally (ballet and jazz). I hate modern dance classes. I have learned nothing except for the fact that modern involves no technique and makes my muscles turn to flab. Anyway, back to the uplifting things of life. Dance. I don't know if you knew this, but I just adore dance with every fiber of my being. I love kicking my face and sitting in strangely unhuman positions that are normal to me but quite alien to everyday passersby. I love how it makes me feel alive, even if I can't breathe and sweat really badly. I don't know what else I can even say about dance because I am feeling so grateful for my talent and ability this evening. I just want others to be inspired by the movement they witness. I don't want it to be a praise of me and what my body can do, but a praise of how great God is and the thoughts and impressions people had when they watch me (or the rest of the company) dance. This past week I have been pondering the question that I have been asked since I was a little child. That is: "Why do you dance?" As it turns out, that is probably the hardest question I have ever been asked to answer. I don't even know if I know the answer. I could say it makes me love myself, but it also makes me hate myself a little bit. I could say it helps me express my feelings, but it also helps me be numb and forget all feeling. I could even say it is my form of exercise (because I hate running), but then I would have to say that it doesn't ever feel like exercise. I don't know exactly why I dance and why I put up with the pulled muscles and floor burns and bruises and every injury and ache and pain. I just know that I have to. I've contemplated quitting a few times throughout my life, but I can't even let myself do that. ****cheesy alert***** Dance is the thing that makes me me. It has helped me find myself and also lose myself, when necessary. It has taught me things that no human experience in my life could. I'm so thankful for dance :)
So come see my show :)
--moving on:Mah main gurls. I think you have an idea of yourselves, but for name dropping purposes, this week has made me especially fond of Miss BKay, Heather, Catsidy, Jezzica, and Becca. If only you could comprehend the influence these fine ladies have had on me. *highlight of the week* running into Becca in the RB parking lot. So many words. Such wise, very wow. Not even to mention that she is the sweetest woman in the world.
--I need to stop trying to live vicariously through others. I need to somehow live an exciting life for myself instead of replaying people's snap stories a thousand times and wishing I was there or stalking people on social media and wishing to be their friend. I need to make my life happen!! So that's that. obviously it won't change over night, but this is the intervention. To tell myself that change needs to happen. I need to waste less time, get 'er done, and live in the here and now.
--I need to STOP EATING WHEAT AND YEAST. (the ONLY exception is the cupcakes from Cupcake Chic. Don't worry, Brooklyn.) It is one hundred percent a metaphor for worldly desires. Temporarily delicious and blissful and then only pain and anguish remains after the Zupa's panini or graham canyon icecream or Café Rio tortilla is digested. I haven't learned my lesson either because I have repeatedly tortured myself with it since the very day I found out that I was allergic! It's getting rather pathetic. Alas.

Life is great. I can't wait to perform this week and wear stage makeup. Stage makeup is my favorite. hollerrr. It's gon be good... Also, pray that the sock mask won't work and that I won't have to wear it.
Thank you, good night.

#ifeelloved #canyoufeelthelovetonight #ican #liveyourlife